Pain
by Tani May Trybrand
Summary: To Sara Sidle pain was normality. Song-fic based on Pain by Three Days Grace. Not a sad ending. GSR


**Author's note: Hi everyone. This is the firs fic I've writen in about a year and also my first song-fic any feed back would be greatly apreciated. Enjoy!**

**I do not own CSI or the song Pain by Three Days Grace.**

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><p>Pain<p>

_**Pain, without love  
>Pain, I can't get enough<br>Pain, I like it rough  
>'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all<strong>_

To Sara Sidle pain was normality. Everyone she had known hurt her; her father physically when she was abused, her mother psychologically when she killed her husband, those who took care of her just wanted her gone. Eventually she was numb, but she wanted normality... she wanted pain.

_**You're sick of feeling numb  
>You're not the only one<br>I'll take you by the hand  
>And I'll show you a world that you can understand<br>This life is filled with hurt  
>When happiness doesn't work<br>Trust me and take my hand  
>When the lights go out you will understand<br>**_

Gil Grissom saw her numbness and pain conflicting inside of her. He just wanted her to understand love, something so pure and simple. Happiness did not help her, but if she could let go he was willing to show her there was a life beyond what she lived.

_**Pain, without love  
>Pain, I can't get enough<br>Pain, I like it rough  
>'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all<br>Pain, without love  
>Pain, I can't get enough<br>Pain, I like it rough  
>'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all<br>**_

Sara could not let go yet. Insecurities stood in the way. If she let go of the little she had now what would happen when Gil hurt her as everyone else had. She would have to start again and she no longer had the strength.

_**Anger and agony  
>Are better than misery<br>Trust me I've got a plan  
>When the lights go off you will understand<br>**_

Gil had to try something, anything. So he became uninterested; he ignored her anything to make her angry so she could finally break, and when she did he would help her rebuild again.

_**Pain, without love  
>Pain, I can't get enough<br>Pain, I like it rough  
>'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all<br>Pain, without love  
>Pain, I can't get enough<br>Pain, I like it rough  
>'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing<strong>_

Instead of anger, self hatred was born. She was alone and did not even give in to the love he showed before. She would be fine she always was.

_**Rather feel pain**_

_**I know (I know I know I know I know)**_  
><em><strong>That you're wounded<strong>_  
><em><strong>You know (You know you know you know you know)<strong>_  
><em><strong>That I'm here to save you<strong>_  
><em><strong>You know (You know you know you know you know)<strong>_  
><em><strong>I'm always here for you<strong>_  
><em><strong>I know (I know I know I know I know)<strong>_  
><em><strong>That you'll thank me later<strong>_

Sara's unexpected happened. Gil showed up on her door step late on a Saturday night. As they sat in her kitchen drinking tea he took her hand and while staring into her eyes declared "I know that you're wounded. You know that I'm here to save you and I'm always here for you." One thing he kept to himself "I know that you'll thank me later."

_**Pain, without love  
>Pain, can't get enough<br>Pain, I like it rough  
>'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all<br>Pain, without love  
>Pain, I can't get enough<br>Pain, I like it rough  
>'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all<br>Pain, without love  
>Pain, I can't get enough<br>Pain, I like it rough  
>'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all<br>Rather feel pain than nothing at all  
>Rather feel pain <strong>_

Gil leaned in close and whispered "I will never let you feel pain again. Sara thought she wanted pain, her normality. But in that moment she let go and finally embraced love; only to realize it had been there the whole time.__

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><p><strong>Sorry that it was short, but I wanted the lyrics to speak as well (and yes I know I strayed from the last chorus) . I really recomend you listen to the song.<strong>


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